Some of the steps I took to create this pice were unbelievable due to that fact of my fear of roaches and the trauma I carry with me. I found the courage to catch my own roach in jar and dried it up then did a photo shoot of a dead Roach in order to utilize my own reference. Taking the roach out of the jar and setting up a photoshoot was something else it was unreal. You would hear crunchy noises when positioning the roach in place and needed for place meant bring chills down my spine. Once I began to drawn this image with charcoal I found myself livening and breathing my fear. I found myself playing a part deep inside this art work feeling and acting like a roach it was like the movie Black Sawn when Natalie Portman began to live and breath as she played the roll of the swan. It was crazy to find my fear/phobia began to live with in me than to fear me. I feel deep and dark working on this project. After all the action I put into this work of art living and breathing as if I was turning it to a roach myself and taking the courage in finding my own reference I still find myself despising roaches and still have a fear with in me. I'm truly grateful for this assignment and the amount of work I went thought in order to create the work that I have created.
Charcoal Drawing